Lingerie “Rules” I Routinely Break

On the wonderful world wide web there exist a large number of ideas pertaining to how people should create their lingerie wardrobe, and how their garments should fit. Some of these ideas apply to me, but a good number of them do not, and I have an inkling that many of you out there probably feel the same. Sometimes these ideas contradict each other, some seem arbitrary, and some make perfect sense but may not apply to you anyway. I promise this post won’t be about how rules are bad. I like rules, guide-lines, check lists– I’m a freak for organization. But as much as I appreciate guide-lines, I welcome them to be critiqued, challenged and poked fun at. No one’s advice will apply to everyone, which is why it’s important to get to know your own preferences when it comes to your undies.

The driving force for this list dates back to when I first got fitted. I bought a strapless bra right away because I considered it a “staple.” Don’t ask me why, because I don’t wear anything that requires a strapless bra. I probably would have been much happier with another everyday bra instead. You absorb notions about what you should should be purchasing, and they can be difficult to shake until you consciously address them. And so, here are some notions that I’ve had to shake, or just flat out don’t apply to me.


  •  You should have a few black, beige and white basic bras.


Black, beige and white contour bras are not something you’re going to find in my drawer (unless they’re really, really special). Blue, green, blush and patterns ahoy!


  • You should own a strapless, racerback, T-shirt bra, plunge, balconette, fancy bra…


I’m quite content without all that stuff, except that I consider all of my lingerie fancy. Hehe.


  • You shouldn’t be able to fit your entire fist under your band.


I admit that I once subscribed to this. But truthfully, I can pretty easily fit my fist under many of my bra bands, and those are my comfiest bras.


  • Lift them higher! Make ’em round!


I like when my bras don’t lift too dramatically, and I like when they don’t add too much size. This is why unlined and wireless bras will always be my first choice, while lined/padded will always be a niche (though certainly welcome on occasion).


  • Matching sets?


Why are matching panties often itchy? Rarely worth it in my experience (though when they are worth it, you kind of feel like a star. I love my Fortnight and Ewa Michalak undies). I’m usually happiest in my Aerie boybriefs.


  • Wash your lingerie after every wear or two.


Erm… this one might not be for the better. I try, truly, but I’m guilty none-the-less.


  • Get a professional fitting every six months.


I had my first fitting in who knows how long a couple weeks ago. It was actually great! But when you’ve learned to self-fit pretty effectively, this rule seems to lose its relevancy. This is especially true when you have preferences that don’t agree with the standard for what a good fit is.


  •  Your wardrobe should be practical.


My wardrobe is actually pretty practical and suits my daily life really well. This one is here because I used to lack any understanding of desiring something that you couldn’t frequently use. When my friend would tell me “hey, I want this pretty thing I’ll only wear on occasion,” I’d inwardly scoff and wonder why. But why should I do that? If the enjoyment she’d get from it is equal to or exceeds that of a more practical item, what’s the issue? Some people prioritize how lingerie makes them feel, or what fantasy it allows them to fulfill rather than its everyday usefulness. I have many binders full of Pokemon cards that I haven’t looked at in months, but am in no way ready to give those up. Who am I to judge? Maybe I’ll have a look at those tonight…

What “rules” do you routinely break? I’m curious!