Today I looked through my entire blog’s history.
I’ve only been blogging for about two years now, but I barely remember what it was like when ‘Windie’ was not an aspect of my identity. What was it like when I didn’t care about lingerie, or didn’t know a thing about fitting? Did I legitimately hate my chest for so many years until I actively pursued an interest in lingerie? How was there a time when I didn’t know so many fantastic bloggers, retailers and readers who have enriched my life? What was I spending so much of my time doing?
It seems like it was ages ago that I first reviewed the Cleo Meg, but that was only September of 2012. I couldn’t sworn it was much more than two and a half years ago that I strictly wore Freya for fear of branching out, and eventually tried my first Mimi Holliday, Panache and Miss Mandalay bras. I feel like my blog and I have both changed so much since then, so it’s strange to realize how recently all of these events transpired. Just a few clicks and boom, it feels like I’ve stepped back so much further than two years.
I noticed that my blog’s tone has become less casual over time, which I think has been positive and negative. I used to write posts in the moment. I’d think of a new idea, and just sit down and hammer it out (kind of like I’m doing right now actually). Now I have a number of posts waiting in a que that are steadily worked on and revised over the course of many days or weeks. I didn’t have any grasp of who my audience was or what may have been expected of me, so I would write whatever sort of post struck me. Now there are general topics and types of posts that I tend to write, and I think I’ve been stuck in them for a while. I want to channel some of the spontaneity that my blog had when it was only three months old again, but keep the polish that comes with experience.
I’m pleased with how my photography has improved. I am a photographer outside of my blogging life, so it’s really rather silly that I wasn’t utilizing much of that skill for a lot of my blog’s existence. I promise that the improved photography is there to stay and I’ll not be slipping back into blurry photo habits. I may even begin creating illustration for some of my posts, but that is merely a tiny idea baby at the moment.
I cherish and appreciate history, but I didn’t expect myself to get so sentimental about my own. I’m not a person who spends much time looking back in my life, but I used to spend too much time looking forward. I live very much in the present, and find that’s the healthiest way for me to be. But I think, starting now, I’ll look back on occasion. Not to mourn what I had and I don’t now have, or to miss a time I can’t go back to. I’ll look back to understand myself better, to self improve. Old doesn’t mean worse, as I’m sure we all know, but old can easily be forgotten. I don’t want to forget. I want to remember to be the fullest person that I can.