We Are All Fine
Yesterday I was feeling a little bit grumpy. I had just completed my last essay of the school term, but the stress of school still lingered around since I still had to proofread it and hand it in. While I was getting ready for work, the grumps already in full force, I put on my black Paris bra, but something didn’t seem… right. I began evaluating myself in the mirror, and realized that Paris was basically rounding out my natural shape, lifting a bit but not incredibly so. I point out that I was already grumpy because I think that very much contributed to my reaction to this realization. I would look at myself in the mirror and think “why can’t my boobs be this and that,” or “why can’t this bra do this and that,” etc. But then I stopped my train of thought and said to myself, “what’s wrong with my shape?”
With everything I think about women and body image, sporting my natural shape should be right in line with my ideals, and typically I consider it a desirable shape. On other women I honestly find it beautiful. It’s so easy to put your thoughts into effect when evaluating others, but we’re always our own biggest enemy, worst critic, whatever you want to call it. For those fifteen minutes when I was changing my shirt, adjusting my straps, just generally fidgeting, I kind of forgot that my natural shape is pretty nice! I was judging myself according to the highly pushed up shape that has been naturalized to some extent. But I mean, I KNOW boobs don’t sit at our collarbones, and even though I know that completely I still slipped for a moment and thought “my shape isn’t good enough, and I need a bra to make it better.” And don’t get me wrong, the pushed up look is fun from time to time, and I love my Ewa Michalak bras for performing lifting action that I once thought was impossible, but we should not forget to value our own shapes for what they are.
I should be clear that I’m not suggesting we all go braless now (unless you want to!), because going braless equals a lot of jiggling, and jiggling is not something I am crazy about. I am suggesting that we don’t necessarily accept the round barbie-esque profile as the optimal shape. After I worked all of this out in my head I looked completely different when I saw myself in the mirror. I was still wearing the same shirt and the same bra, looking in the same mirror in the same lighting, but I looked fine. No problems, nothing to be upset about, and I would say the same for someone double my size or half my size. I’m fine, the bra is fine, everything is fine. I vow to be a bit less obsessive, and go back to enjoying mine, and everyone else’s natural shapes (and give my sincerest apologies to my Paris bra for doubting her).
One of the things that I struggled with when I first figured out bra fitting was why I couldn’t love the Freya Deco. It’s such a dumb thing to worry over, but everyone and their mother was singing the praises over the bra, and I haaaaated the way I looked in it. And then I had to say to myself “You’re fine. You’re boobs are fine. They’re different from someone else’s, but it doesn’t mean they’re wrong. We are all fine.” I’m sorry you had a few moments of feeling “ugh”, but you’re absolutely right to recognize that we like what we like and we’re differently shaped, to pat yourself on the back, and shrug it off. Paris looks lovely you on, so keep on keeping on.
“It’s so easy to put your thoughts into effect when evaluating others, but we’re always our own biggest enemy, worst critic, whatever you want to call it.” This quote sums up so much of how women view themselves and each other. I’ve seen some beautiful woman who wear a larger size than me, and I think they are downright gorgeous. But, let me gain two pounds, and all of a sudden, I’m down on myself again. It’s definitely a process to get into the frame of mind where we can see the beauty in ourselves even if we can already see it in others.
I think this is so true, for all bust sizes and body shapes. Sometimes we focus so much on an imaginary ‘perfect body’ that we neglect to see what’s so great about ours! I also advocate looking at yourself as if you were looking at someone else as asking whether you would look at them and judge them so critically– I think it helps see the positives in yourself that you might see in others if you stop thinking of how you should be ‘improved’.
Oh and I think everyone has those days where they just. hate. everything. (including/especially their bodies!)
Hmm I’m also a little upset with my paris, but for a different reason. I ordered a 30E and returned it because I thought it came up too high under my arms. Now I have a 30DD and its cutting in a bit, and the wires are a little jabby. Ugh. After loosening the straps and bending the wires its bearable now.
After reading that blog post, I have to disagree and say, I think the paris is a “root lifter” because the position of the center seams are a bit more centered than the curvy kate bras pictured.
Congrats on finishing up your semester. I still have many finals to deal with even up until the 21st. 😥
I went and whipped out my Paris bra and compared it to my Freya Pollyanna, and I think you’re right! I thought it was less centered, but they’re pretty darn similar (Freya looks a bit more centered, but it’s pretty much negligible). I’ll edit the post, thanks. 🙂
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